My Outfit Today Says...Sheena

 

By popular demand, it's here!  My Outfit Today Says!  Print it out as a post card and let your loved one know they are McAwesome (and so am I)!

I gotta call my agency...no, not that agency, the modeling agency.  I got to make them coins, girl.

As You Wish

Interactive McAwesome Post!


I've been a married woman for two weeks now.  A lot has changed.  Like realizing there's no going back - the paper work would just be too much.  And that we would change nothing because our love is like one of the most McAwesome loves of all time.

Our love is like an AWESOME love story.

 I know every newlywed couple envisions themselves to be some kind of the most amazing love stories ever told, but Mr. McAwesome and I - to harp on a point - were married by a robot.  That's the kind of decision only soul mates could come to.  It's the kind of love only found on an old Star Trek: The Next Generation plot.  Almost like Bo and Hope's psychic connection on Days of Our Lives.

Elle Woods interviews, "Despite Bo and Hope's special connection, Bo couldn't tell that Hope was really Princess Gina and under the evil Stefano's control."

Feh to that timeless love.  Our timeless love includes a giant, a drunken Spaniard, a six fingered man and, of course, Peter Falk.

Peter Falk: The Patron Saint of McAwesome Love and Voyeurism.

You see, earlier, I commented to Mr. McAwesome while shopping for Drain-o and toliet paper about my desire to eat hot sauce.  I wanted to cover the world in hot sauce.  In fact, I wanted to cover him almost entirely of hot sauce and lick it off - not in desire of Mr. McAwesome but of the hot sauce.


Mr. McAwesome whisked me away to Dona Rosa.  After sitting down with my margarita, he leapt to his feet and brought me this:

Four kinds of salsa.  AKA hot sauce.

Hit it, Pearl.

And then, when I indicated to which one I liked the most, he came back and presented me with more.


MORE.


And if that wasn't enough to rise to the occasion to be a love story for the ages, he introduced me to mole.  An experience that created Xanadu in my head.

Visual representation of mole.  Also, my new desktop background.

And that is why I shall answer any request Mr. McAwesome gives me with, "As you wish."

Klassy

Neil Jeff Gordon would be proud of the apparent boozing I did at my wedding.

Me with someone who matched my beer.  Mr. McAwesome was already in his robot boxer shorts inside talking to his grandmother.

CNN, YOU ARE NOT FULL OF MCAWESOME

UPDATE:  IF THIS GETS REPOSTED ENOUGH, WE WILL RELEASE OUR EXCLUSIVE ROBOT FOOTAGE TONIGHT.

While still in the throes of PoHoMoHO, I woke up to find a link on my Facebook wall that says, "Someone stole your idea..."

 This is very serious as I have awesome ideas.  Like Mornin' Booze - a place that is both cheap, classy and convenient to drink booze in the morning.

 

DO NOT STEAL MY MORNIN' BOOZE!

The idea in question was that of getting married by a robot.  See, when the McAwesome's married, we got married by a robot.  Mr. McAwesome spent three months scripting and designing a robot that I found at a thrift shop.

Before

AFTER

Our robot spoke, moved, interacted and - AND - played The Final Countdown.  We recorded the voice ourselves and tweaked it.  There were Easter eggs of Luke Skywalker and R2D2.  In short...

So when I got the, "Somebody stole your idea", my first thought was, "Yes, they did it in Japan a year ago.  It was kick ass.  We were the first in America."

Then I saw the link...

 

That?  THAT is not married by a robot.  THAT is married by a screen.  With a MAC voice.

We here at Team McAwesome (as soon as Mr. McAwesome wakes up) are LIVID.  LIVID!

Please spread the word that this is unacceptable. When you get married by a robot, you best be SURE that you are married by a ROBOT.  

That's the Married by a Robot guarantee - you will be married by a ROBOT.

McAwesome - A name you can trust to be married by a robot!
 

The McAwesome Family Crest

Those of you of British, Scottish and Irish ancestry are probably familiar with the idea - the family motto, the disembodied boars heads, the tartan. Somehow, the McAwesome family name got passed over.  Naturally, while suffering through PoHoMoHO, I did something about it.

 Let me get Clarissa on you and explain it all.

But where are the unicorns?

PoHoMoHO

Right now, I am sitting across Mr. McAwesome who is eating the remains of the Thai food I got this morning because I was not going to cook.  It's the last day of the honeymoon - the last day that anyone will actually care that recently, we combined to form The McAwesomes.

 Here's what I've learned about getting married -

• You will begin to hate the wedding.  
• You will start to hallucinate that your name is "Wedding"
• You will hate your new name
• You will stare at the registry and will it to buy you presents
• You will want to hit those precious girls you call your bridesmaids...
• ...until you remember the part about presents
• You will want to hit people who ask what to wear to the wedding
• You will begin to fuck with people who ask what to wear to the wedding
• You wish you didn't invite so many people
• You begin to love math.  People = PRESENTS
• You will hi5ive yourself as you have your belief confirmed that bridal magazines are stupid
• You will cry when you get your first presents...
• ...five seconds later, you will refresh the browser screen to see if anyone bought anything else from the registry

Now that it's all over, I'm in my kitchen.  I've been here all day.  It started off as a place to open up my laptop and get caught up on the internet.  Then I opened up presents that were sent here while Mr. McAwesome and I were out on our honeymoon.  Then I photographed those presents.  I organized them.  I made sweet love to them while no one was looking (and I used protection).

I have PoHoMoHO - Post HoneyMoon Hang Over. I am suffering from a glamorous disease.  I've had a week to relax and I need more.  I can't go back into general population tomorrow - I relaxed off just the wedding stress - I need to relax off all the pre-we (pre-wedding).  I was almost there yesterday - look at us!  LOOK AT HOW MCAWESOME MR. MCAWESOME AND I ARE:



Mr. and Mrs. McAwesome at The Top of the Mark in San Francisco....kissin'.

Today, I am wearing bunny slippers.  And I have a bug bite on my head that makes me look like a Gwen Stefani wannabe from 1996.  How the McAwesome have fallen.