tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54006230010222598452024-03-04T23:07:03.810-08:00It's McAwesomeMcAwesome isn't a last name, it's an unconventional conventional way of living. The McAwesome's break down how you can can incorporate the fundamentals of McAwesome into your own life.McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-40032177730361081282012-06-20T14:37:00.000-07:002012-06-20T14:39:04.427-07:00Help desk ticket<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I wrote the following
help desk ticket today. If anyone has any follow ups, please let me know. Nitro
is AWESOME! If you edit PDF's, they are the BEST. (Especially if they answer my questions.)</div>
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The question? What is this thing:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA_0ty6NvZ0zjjnOo3i8rMjnVPS96aQw8n0sWPXZ0iD5lWoknFPIpEe_Wjq6lx1vvoo3uTgaKKX5BTR54f6t4__xw9ncxfRmBLBmwPdF54EKCTWXt0J8zALvhhYlHeXM0iwdkLk1zH_nk/s1600/Nitro+the+fire+bear+with+a+jet+engine+on+his+back.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA_0ty6NvZ0zjjnOo3i8rMjnVPS96aQw8n0sWPXZ0iD5lWoknFPIpEe_Wjq6lx1vvoo3uTgaKKX5BTR54f6t4__xw9ncxfRmBLBmwPdF54EKCTWXt0J8zALvhhYlHeXM0iwdkLk1zH_nk/s1600/Nitro+the+fire+bear+with+a+jet+engine+on+his+back.png" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7xOujOAaBCS2hPNWYDhCeuF9oT9SZ3s4J0uH5tWZGwRGdddUPe8GnkFC-aAYlm9Q9iDpMmC4fJF9uoskBONUqHXQ-AvJPKsdbJ8A1wfh5e7gDxTi615MLU3hJeag6uNUOPvRPBNa8Nhg/s1600/SnapShot.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7xOujOAaBCS2hPNWYDhCeuF9oT9SZ3s4J0uH5tWZGwRGdddUPe8GnkFC-aAYlm9Q9iDpMmC4fJF9uoskBONUqHXQ-AvJPKsdbJ8A1wfh5e7gDxTi615MLU3hJeag6uNUOPvRPBNa8Nhg/s1600/SnapShot.png" /></a></div>
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</div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-61137435289945570012012-06-19T23:38:00.001-07:002012-06-19T23:39:42.650-07:00Baby otters are comedy geniuses.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In the 80's, bears that emoted through their stomach tattoos were popular. So as a kid, I didn't want to just be the funniest person alive, I wanted the Care Bears to think I was funny, too. Because if a Care Bear thought I was funny, that must mean I'm really funny.<br />
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I no longer care too much whether or not Care Bears would think I am funny. I found a new standard of which I measure comedy. Not man, not woman, but baby otter.<br />
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<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/IsdlBjxv_8s/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IsdlBjxv_8s&fs=1&source=uds" />
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That's the "<a href="http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/hsw-shows/stuff-mom-never-told-you-podcast.htm" target="_blank">What Mom Never Told You</a>" podcast theme in the video from How Stuff Works. Their podcast on Nancy Drew rocks so hard.<br />
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Baby otters are comedy geniuses. They must be. After hanging out with Care Bears, having someone laugh at something I've done as non-stop as I do when watching baby otter footage has got to be one of the most intoxicating goals I have. It's so impossible, but what if? What. IF!<br />
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Man...what if they replace Andy Samburg on SNL with a baby otter? Don Pardo would saying, "Featuring...Baaaaaby Otterrrrr!" and everyone would be talking how they totally discovered Baby Otter by hanging in until the very end of the show, and then Baby Otter will get this slow, loyal fanbase until its franchise. Imagine, being in a theater for two hours laughing non-stop at the brilliant comedic stylings of Baby Otter!<br />
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Baby Otters are funnier than us all.<br />
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<br /></div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-48782710663406243712012-01-03T17:47:00.001-08:002012-01-03T17:47:24.694-08:00AbracadoodooJust samba crossed Mr. McAwesome who was on the toliet while singing an elevator version of Steve Miller's biggest toliet baby, "Abracadabra".McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-46156112930301685222011-12-18T11:13:00.000-08:002011-12-18T11:13:49.138-08:00X-Men Holiday Rules<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">This is my old chestnut compiled by myself and a dear old friend. Decided to dust it off and put it on the mantle next to my Hong Kong Santa.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">The Xavier Holiday Rules<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1. The mail comes in at 2 p.m. The mail is ready to be dispersed at 4 p.m. No one may touch the mail, i.e., the cards, presents, etc. until Bobby Drake, hereto forth known as The Mail Master is done sorting them under penalty of said Mail Master.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1a. And you are not allowed to take the Mail Masters Santa hat for a very cruel game of Keep Away.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1b. Especially if you are a hot red head. Because you enforce that all girls are gorgeous and cruel and you will ruin me for other girls.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">2. When Santa's elves are at work, they must not be disturbed. If they happen to be working in the TV room at the same time as Danger Mouse is on, that's your loss.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">2a. Only one person has ever called Wolverine "Santa's elf". They are not currently living. Any questions?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3. Eggnog is of the strong and only for the legal.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">3a. No, Bobby, we know that's a fake ID.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">3b. Same goes for Kitty, Tabitha, Sam, Berto, Doug and Jubilee.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">3c. An no fare waiteng untillll wee r tu derunk to kare...we wll knew n teh morngngn!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">4. Tree decoration is on December 20th, in the afternoon, over mulled wine. In the event of supervillain attack, it may be postponed to the morning of the 21st.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">4a. Home-made decorations are allowed. However, no decorations may be added that are designed to do any of the following: Explode, implode, open portals to alternate dimensions, broadcast signals to the Mojoverse, radically alter the biochemistry, physiology or mental state of those in proximity, or convince Banshee that the tree is actually Black Tom, back for<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">vengeance.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">4b. While edible decorations may of course be hung on the tree, it is recommended that you hang them at a height greater than six feet and four inches from the ground, this being the maximum height to which certain of the mansion's residents have shown themselves capable of reaching.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">5. You are not allowed to sing THAT song. THAT song includes references to "five golden rings" and a partridge who is not David Cassidy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">5a. You are not funny by changing the words to include monkeys mating and ending with "And a bald professor scowling at me!"<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">6. When Doctor McCoy is concocting Mama McCoy's Special Christmas Cake, the kitchen is officially off limits to everyone except his Loyal Sidekick. This replaces and supersedes all previous versions of Rule Six.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">6a. That said, if you somehow find a way to interfere to any degree with the mixture for Mama McCoy's Special Christmas Cake - desist. Cease to even contemplate such a foolhardy venture, lest punishments most grievous be visited upon you.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">6b. As a result of the exact ingredients in Mama McCoy's Special Christmas Cake, it may not be consumed by any residents or guests under the age of eighteen. No exceptions.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">6c. Anyone violating rules 6 or 6a. will be scheduled an extra two hours in the Danger Room, on New Year's Eve. And be forced to eat Betsy's Christmas lardy cake.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">6d. Only one piece, though. We're not monsters.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">6e. If I ever get my telepathy back, the first thing I do will be to find out exactly who it was wrote rules 6c and 6d, and take appropriate steps. Fair warning, boys.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">7. Never ever was there anything lovelier than a tree, with tons of tiny white lights looking back at thee. (Translation: Multi-Colored lights are icky.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">7a. As such, do not make Mr. Summers put up the Christmas lights and assure him that they are all white lights. You are not clever and he will hunt you down. Please see rules 6c and 6d for an indication of what may happen.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">8. Professor Charles Francis Xavier, holder of a D.Phil from Oxford University and degrees in Psychology, Genetics and Biochemistry, the world's most powerful telepath and founder of the Xavier Institute is an individual of unimpeachable gravitas and dignity. As such, anyone discovered to have placed tinsel upon his wheelchair will suffer dire consequences. I trust no<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">more need be said on this matter?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8a. Clearly, at least a little more need be said on this matter. If you ask Henry politely, I am sure he will show you the photographs he took of what happened to Robert and Warren in December of 1997.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8b. The above also applies to any kind of fairy lights, streamers, paper chains and brightly-coloured baubles.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8c. How about little beanie Kermits in Santa hats?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8d. The little beanie Kermit in his Santa hat is a unique privilege granted to Jean time out of mind. Trust my word that you are not capable of replicating the feat by which she earned the aforesaid privilege.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8e. What if I put on a red wig and mini-skirt?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8f. No, Robert.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8g. Might I?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8h. No, Henry.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8i. And a preliminary, “No, Jubilation.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8j. …and I really didn’t think I needed to, but seeing as how it has already happened, no, Guido.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">9. When in doubt, use rules 8f, 8h, and 8i. And most definitely 8j.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">10. Do not mock the Christmas cookies. You might find this rule strange, but it is not the<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">wrath of the cook you should fear, rather, the telekinetic prowess of the cook.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">10a. And Hank, please don’t take it personally, but 8h. I do not think I know of a single person that can stomach peppermint cherry gingerbread. And I can’t do it anymore. It was fun when I was sixteen and stupid, but I’m not going to be twenty-seven and stupid.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">10b. Et tu, Bobby?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">10c. Nihil declare. Except, really, no more. I will take lardy cake over that any day.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">11. We* here at Xaviers’ realize that there are a variety of religions hosted under this house<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">and that in no way should anyone feel pressured into celebrating the Christmas holiday. That said…Logan, you cannot grump around and then eat all the good Christmas candy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11a. No, Logan, being grumpy isn’t a religion. There is no St. Grinchus who steals into the homes of those with Christmas treats and sucks the joy out of the holiday by stuffing himself full. I must insist that you stop falling asleep at the television while drinking.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11b. You also cannot base a religion on a DVD copy of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and ask that we spend Christmas in our way, and you can spend it in yours (all explicatives deleted, of course.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11d. (Illegible handwriting)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11e. Because you could somehow pull it off, Logan, that’s why. Please refrain from ruining Christmas for the rest of us.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11f. (Illegible handwriting)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11g. Warren’s annual betting Robert that he couldn’t finish off all of Henry’s peppermint cherry gingerbread is not ruining Christmas. It is, sadly, a time honored tradition at Xavier’s’. Not a proud one, but the roots to the baking of, the drama of the, “I am never doing this again”, the bringing out of Warren’s checkbook, the way Robert’s eyes light up at the sight of all the zeroes, the devouring of the vile bread, the drama that unfolds as we wonder if Robert will make it to the bathroom in time, the amazement that vomit can be telekinetically suspended for a small amount of time, the tragedy that unfolds when we learn that we shouldn’t test Jean’s concentration during these moments…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11h. (Illegible writing)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11i. I like to think of it as more of a “PSA” than a vomitorium, Logan.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*Please see rule 22.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">12. Please refrain from using Robert Drake as a guinea pig for your cooking. We are not sure if it’s the past trauma of seasons past or if Robert just has a generally weak constitution, but be assured that there will be dire consequences.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">12a. Yeah, like having your favorite sweater ruined because SOMEBODY thought the boy could handle tandoori chicken. I thought ya had more training in accuracy than that, Frosty Flakes.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">12b. Jubilee, I assure you that my attempts to feed Bobby Indian food was more of a way to get him out of my kitchen. And I’m fairly sure the jumper you were wearing was far worse on Bobby’s eyes than my food was on his stomach.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">12c. Please stop pouting, Jubilation, you know Betsy is correct.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">13. Do not attempt to put Warren on top of anything.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">14. Do not sing “Frosty the Snowman” around Bobby. It only encourages him.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">15. Each year, we* elect a staff member to portray the red hatted saint of the season. Please do not stuff the ballot box just because you feel that you are best suited for the role. You are a doctor, Henry, and the stereotype is fitting.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">15a. Henry, this is not “1776”, you are not John Adams and for god’s sake, Henry, sit down!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">15b. Also, you will notice that there isn’t a write in vote on this ballot. Please do not take the opportunity to make one. Your request for a “Shirtless St. Ewan MacGregor” will go unheeded.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">15c. …who put in “Shirtless St. Bea Arthur”?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*Please see rule 22.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">16. Robert, relocate that carrot this instant.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">16a. I apologize, Robert. Betsy, relocate that carrot this instant.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">16b. …in a fashion that is not becoming of Amsterdam, please.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">17. Contrary to popular rumor, “The Snoopy Dance” is not what Wolverine does best.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">18. If you wish to put a stocking up by the fire place, feel free to go ahead. Please do not take this as an invitation to go on a panty raid.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">18a. Xavier’s will not reimburse for any stockings lost in the shenanigans of others at this school. You are telepaths and one of you is a former telepath and a ninja -- frankly, Betsy, while I am in no expert in lingerie, I am fairly sure you are being ripped off, if your quote is correct. Is this for a pair?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">18b. PER?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">19. While you are welcome to buy for whomever you want, there will be a Secret Santa gift exchange among the faculty and students of Xavier’s. Please pay strict adherence to the $50 limit.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">19a. Since the inclusion of 18b., the only persons allowed to buy for Ms. Elisabeth Braddock are Warren Worthington, Emma Frost, myself, Tony Stark or the Catholic Church. Bobby, please quit your job at Taco Bell – Betsy doesn’t need that leather specialty item that badly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">19b. I heard that, Betsy, and I am a bit disturbed, frankly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">19c. No, Bobby, you are not to buy her it. I don’t care if she promised she would show you how to use it. And, once again, I am disturbed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">19d. Please see 8h.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">19e. Just all of you…stop disturbing me. Or no egg nog this year.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">20. Bobby is not your personal Snoopy Sno-Cone maker. And no, you cannot use mine. You never clean it after you use it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">20a. Please don’t go to Storm after I turn you away. It only makes her upset…and wanting a Sno-Cone and I have to give her one because she can use my head as a coaster.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">21. I know that we* all have our own ways of celebrating Christmas and some of you celebrate it in a more private fashion. In any case, if that is where you wish to put your Santa hat, Remy, please do so where no one else can see.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">21a. Please see 19e for further reference for those who thought it would be prudent to copy Remy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*Please see rule #22<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">22. When I use the term “we” or “all”, I mean “everyone except Logan”. I.e. “We wish you a Merry Christmas” or “I know all of us are infused with holiday cheer”.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">23. Ororo and Robert are more than happy to provide you with the snow we* all wish for the holiday season. They are not so obliging at three a.m. I do not care if, as you say, Jubilee, “he was just playing Worlds of Warcraft with some dork in Calabasas in his undies” – no. (And please put on some clothes, Robert. And please see me later as we talk about some of your uniform choices.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*See rule 22<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">24. Hannakuh and Christmas pageants are welcomed by all*, and most certainly, creativity is paramount when you are retelling the miracle of the oil lasting eight nights and the story of Baby Jesus. However, last year’s “Christmukkahkwanzaa Extravaganzaa” was in bad taste. While I applaud the efforts of Team Christmas in casting a black Baby Jesus, I am concerned as to how Pam Greer was convinced to reprise the part of Coffee, who I was not even aware was a witness at the birth of Christ.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">24a. Charles Xavier does not have script approval of the Christmukkahwanzaa Extravaganzaa. And, in light of 19e, is not allowed to do anything that disturbs us in turn. Pam will not be back this year. Thanks, Professor.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">25. After the egg nog, mulled wine, spiked cider, hot toddies, and other spirits have been served, please refrain from hooting and shouting out lewd edits as the senior staff reads “It’s a Wonderful Life”. For further information, please refer to rules 19e, 24a, 8f, and 8h-i.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25a. Jubilee, please see rule 8i about your request to read for Jimmy Stewart’s role.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25b. Jean is always Donna Reed. Always.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25c. Betsy gets to be Donna Reed’s role when Jean cannot be located.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25d. Betsy, please refrain from locking Jean in the bathroom, you know that it won’t work longer than just a few seconds.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25e. Betsy, please put that military supply catalogue down, it’s not really all that worth it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25f. Betsy, stop saying you’ll do the performance in only your stockings and put down the egg nog.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25g. Bobby, stop encouraging Betsy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25h. Hank, stop encouraging Betsy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25i. Scott, stop encouraging Betsy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25j. Remy, stop encouraging Betsy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25k. Xi’an, stop encouraging Betsy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25l. Warren, stop bragging about Betsy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25m. Jean, do not fight with Betsy. It only makes it harder.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25n. RULE 24A!!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25o. Please stop giving me egg nog.</div><!--EndFragment--> </div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-25333434769851199452011-12-18T11:10:00.000-08:002011-12-18T11:10:58.889-08:00Our Wedding Plus Video<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">One of my dearest and sweetest friends, Elisa, blogged about our wedding (in which she provided a super-heroic amount of help and direction and polish) on her blog, <a href="http://eventsbyelisa.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/neva-rob-the-mcawesome-wedding-07242011/" target="_blank">Events by Elisa</a>. Also, it had the first link to exclusive robot footage of the wedding itself.<br />
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Behold.<br />
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Want more? We'll think about it. It was a very special moment in my life ruined by an umbrella post.</div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-37001534999369704082011-11-13T12:54:00.000-08:002011-11-13T13:01:52.930-08:00Reasons Why Watching Xanadu is Better than Watching the Republican Debates<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">In 2004 and 2008, I was a Presidential debate junky. I watched the debates on television, through live streaming video, and listened through podcasts. That may be close to eighty hours of my life given to Presidential debates.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In 2006, I had discovered Xanadu for the first time. I watched Xanadu on DVD, laserdisc, and at three different movie theaters. That may be close to eighty hours of my life given to Xanadu, which does not include my repeated playing of the soundtrack.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now that it’s 2011 with a Presidential election just a year away and the cast of Republican hopefuls have less chemistry than Olivia Newton-John and Michael Beck, I can’t bring myself to watch the debates. I would definitely be down to watch Xanadu.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let’s break it down.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHPfgbSHFwObKrFT5H6M9LyK33ABu6KXT6qWpEdeN8i5Xy2BqYevIMsRq1M08AHdlkBPtbl_hCvrzMgNvbjv8mD1ERipvRx8wKyXx4da1Xvf2cNtzSajJ8A44oq4_yKLBiD9Y6MXPTgHM/s1600/Republican-elephant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHPfgbSHFwObKrFT5H6M9LyK33ABu6KXT6qWpEdeN8i5Xy2BqYevIMsRq1M08AHdlkBPtbl_hCvrzMgNvbjv8mD1ERipvRx8wKyXx4da1Xvf2cNtzSajJ8A44oq4_yKLBiD9Y6MXPTgHM/s200/Republican-elephant.jpg" width="200" /></a> vs.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgopScqzQpThII4zybGu5jbhT_AsheJLKJVdZSU2Gr4lUKlFQDoJz4tUz6POfy7iV0O-mnwbMKeY_OtBm40o64RYAc1KILFGkmjNzGIF6MRYz_SXrEKNmv0g52f0LcfS5skvtgLWlgqfIk/s1600/xanadu2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgopScqzQpThII4zybGu5jbhT_AsheJLKJVdZSU2Gr4lUKlFQDoJz4tUz6POfy7iV0O-mnwbMKeY_OtBm40o64RYAc1KILFGkmjNzGIF6MRYz_SXrEKNmv0g52f0LcfS5skvtgLWlgqfIk/s320/xanadu2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Epic battle!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The plot of Xanadu:</b> Failed artist builds a roller-disco after falling in love with a Greek Muse (Olivia Newton-John). Also starring Gene Kelley.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The plot of the Republican Debates:</b> Failed politicians build an image of a thriving America where the rich are taxed less and public programs are shut down. Also starring Ron Paul</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Verdict: </b>The idea of an America thriving without the help of Planned Parenthood, special education funding, and Ira Glass is more ludicrous than the idea of a roller-disco.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The star of Xanadu: </b>Who to choose? Music crossover sensation (at the time) Olivia Newton-John? Beloved entertainer Gene Kelley? Solid Gold Dance Icon Darcelle Wynn? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The star of the Republican Debates: </b>Who to choose? Pizza cross over sensation, Herman Cain, he who hopes that by saying that sexual harassment also happens to men it will happen to him? Beloved entertainer Rick Perry? Solid Gold Dance Icon Darcelle Wynn?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Verdict: </b>It is – and will always be – Solid Gold Dance Icon Darcelle Wynn.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The point in Xanadu where I lose myself: </b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Click <a href="http://youtu.be/YHaUy0xiUzM">here</a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>The point in the Republican debates where I would have lost myself:</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/6haLUOjnbf8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Verdict:</b> Which one had Solid Gold Dance Icon Darcelle Wynn? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When Gene Kelley went to work on Xanadu, he was a professional. As a highly regarded actor and director, Gene Kelley knew Xanadu was not destined for greatness but brought his talents to the fullest while on set and script that had him dance around in a life sized pinball machine. In the end, even with his public disdain for the production values, Xanadu has not tarnished his legacy. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Verdict: Any cast that has Gene Kelley in it is way more worth my time than any cast that has a guy that earned the nick named “Ass Juice’.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-35778812212474888322011-11-01T21:55:00.000-07:002011-11-01T21:55:32.781-07:00Married & McAwesome Memories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Mr. McAwesome and I look forward to a lifetime of cherished stories that we will tell loudly, drunkly, and pubicly well into our golden years. Won't you help us collect:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Married & McAwesome Memories</span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://ct.iscute.com/i91/1/11/13/f_d0d11258a20c.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ct.iscute.com/i91/1/11/13/f_d0d11258a20c.gif" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>My married friends, the Turtledoves, has a story they love to tell.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s a pink food processor!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s pink!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We found it on clearance – “</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, we found it on clearance!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And we were all, “…huh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is on clearance!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We were all huh!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We found a store clerk and asked him, “Uhm, excuse me – why is this on clearance?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And then he said this, he said this – “</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“’It’s pink.’”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s pink!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In the House of McAwesome, we will someday have a story we will love to tell.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s was an even bigger mess!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Big mess!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s cheaper to repair it yourself.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, we repaired it ourselves.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And she was all, “…huh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re doing it yourself!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“She was all…huh…”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We then heard a sound and I asked him, “Uhm, excuse me – why did my car do that?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And then I said, I said this – “</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s on fire!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s…on…<i>fire.</i><span style="font-style: normal;">”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We will love to tell this story in a time, hopefully soon, where my car is still not on fire.<o:p></o:p></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://christianpf.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/car_on_fire.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://christianpf.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/car_on_fire.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Update: Car still on fire</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment--> </div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-20459993261741730892011-10-13T13:29:00.000-07:002011-10-13T13:29:43.656-07:00From the Desk of the Mushy Zombie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Dear Husband Who I Totally Married Almost Three (3) Months Ago,<br />
<br />
Marriage - we did it! We past the point where we can get an annulment - from this point on, it's forever! (Or Mexico.) <br />
<br />
I'm finally getting ready to start on our thank you cards but wanted to thank you first as without you proposing to me, no wedding would have really taken place. Without your existence, our love would just be me in some pajama pants and a Duran Duran shirt singing made up 80's jingles to the amusement of people that don't exist. (I used "existence" and "exist" in the same sentence - that kind of bad writing shows how important you are to making me not look insane.)<br />
<br />
Reasons Why You, Mr. McAwesome, is McAwesome:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>You find the hot glue gun when I need to put dinosaurs in my hair</li>
<li>You let me play bongos on your butt - clothed or nakey</li>
<li>You build me robots</li>
<li>You made me a light switch for my closet and presented it to me by saying, "Do you like Frankenstein switches?"</li>
<li>You listen to my wonderland metaphors that have no point but have plenty of references that even Uatu wouldn't understand</li>
<li>You don't read comic books but you watch comic book movies with me</li>
<li>You are hip like an English muffin</li>
<li>You let me say things like "after 5ive attire" on our invites even though nobody and maybe one other person who watched RuPaul's Drag Race that week knew what that meant</li>
<li>Our continual work on the McAwesome hi5ive</li>
<li>The fact that in the past, I would have made the above up as a silly throwaway but you made it for really reals</li>
<li>You make my life not okay, good, fine or even just awesome, but McAwesome</li>
</ul><div>And also, because you do things like this:</div><div><br />
</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-37UoIxwYS7TygpDhZM3yNymSDU9ABzabP-rLSuWQP25HeNGrKyxK9s3fTOAz_JAZCD7pAT3Aoh7Kk79EdN4rGBQlQz5rgKgmoh4F1J-KmR57lcl47Nj80PGN_FIPJbSsAuKScj8YV3M/s1600/2011-03-11+22.58.54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-37UoIxwYS7TygpDhZM3yNymSDU9ABzabP-rLSuWQP25HeNGrKyxK9s3fTOAz_JAZCD7pAT3Aoh7Kk79EdN4rGBQlQz5rgKgmoh4F1J-KmR57lcl47Nj80PGN_FIPJbSsAuKScj8YV3M/s320/2011-03-11+22.58.54.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIcmjBdI6Oi_LwN-BkqoU72hZWZ_NAOor4JgUXoDjMInlqkLnD_cuoAIIZ4Vg1JKO9VgeYlGc5NpHjhxgUfkogE4fMhbjT19pRca3aLV2nnr-rMCG7HVeArGQpooEjuzrm-Q-505uBh7s/s1600/2011-03-12+22.53.18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIcmjBdI6Oi_LwN-BkqoU72hZWZ_NAOor4JgUXoDjMInlqkLnD_cuoAIIZ4Vg1JKO9VgeYlGc5NpHjhxgUfkogE4fMhbjT19pRca3aLV2nnr-rMCG7HVeArGQpooEjuzrm-Q-505uBh7s/s320/2011-03-12+22.53.18.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAEbIheK5hstUkUqoYqhlKcuX3JnhUc0OFndp_5YqJpZ98Vz_96pPT5H7wkOZ5IYXj-NQKVmKszSNosx3_lplEqYQPok_rjj7UEnp7I98607-mSAI9R6Xz8skirHKXw_SNirNMiD_hqFE/s1600/2011-04-02+14.03.01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAEbIheK5hstUkUqoYqhlKcuX3JnhUc0OFndp_5YqJpZ98Vz_96pPT5H7wkOZ5IYXj-NQKVmKszSNosx3_lplEqYQPok_rjj7UEnp7I98607-mSAI9R6Xz8skirHKXw_SNirNMiD_hqFE/s320/2011-04-02+14.03.01.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2uYczHxhVzPY-3FOB2LCdq2tZXC2_9Sp9XWBbAg3HpEDGmCM6VBnTm1YlWzW4NJY0B8LuaakaHcHviDwml-XUEOBB0R9k-RN2Pp3bHlrqZntGE8DMlz5VQwyMweLjvhP4lGu0LfZVaR4/s1600/IMG_20110425_204835.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2uYczHxhVzPY-3FOB2LCdq2tZXC2_9Sp9XWBbAg3HpEDGmCM6VBnTm1YlWzW4NJY0B8LuaakaHcHviDwml-XUEOBB0R9k-RN2Pp3bHlrqZntGE8DMlz5VQwyMweLjvhP4lGu0LfZVaR4/s320/IMG_20110425_204835.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><br />
BTW, we once fought about this - WTF?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJNmVWjMYNxmdnmobeGoVHIOebohz465HXEExH1IjBsj30CTI6OyzsXmTORIoeIhxtRa9Ojlr7Q4auY49FxyjgNqmr46sTXBSOS-bNps0u50HxA4Ck7ohaI-Vq26Q_qduq0dQp5e2ETgs/s1600/2011-01-06+19.29.40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJNmVWjMYNxmdnmobeGoVHIOebohz465HXEExH1IjBsj30CTI6OyzsXmTORIoeIhxtRa9Ojlr7Q4auY49FxyjgNqmr46sTXBSOS-bNps0u50HxA4Ck7ohaI-Vq26Q_qduq0dQp5e2ETgs/s320/2011-01-06+19.29.40.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div></div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-64717847277905493452011-09-18T17:16:00.000-07:002012-09-21T21:08:40.225-07:00Fantasy Father League: Ron Swanson<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<i>A lot of kids have the fantasy of being adopted. Most of those kids are losers because they have this fantasy and have both parents (such losers!) </i></div>
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<i><br />
</i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<i>I am not a loser as I only had my mother, leaving me to create <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">The Fantasy Father League</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">.</span></b></i></div>
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<i><br />
</i></div>
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Fantasy Father Figure #2: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Swanson">Ron Swanson</a> from <a href="http://www.nbc.com/parks-and-recreation/">Parks and Recreation</a></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVZxl7gx6h05NSTZ_FtdWEZ-eWrcK9ug0twikW1G9vq-5dH_WuRSUOOaxM2ZeMkcTtWtTWR-k3knreFuMk3kH57pQ_68K47j5nLRYaf4rq8-9-tQTkvALg3B3V0FmWCMtIKal4mIgE4A0/s1600/annie+awesome.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVZxl7gx6h05NSTZ_FtdWEZ-eWrcK9ug0twikW1G9vq-5dH_WuRSUOOaxM2ZeMkcTtWtTWR-k3knreFuMk3kH57pQ_68K47j5nLRYaf4rq8-9-tQTkvALg3B3V0FmWCMtIKal4mIgE4A0/s320/annie+awesome.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="228" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin: 0px;">
Neva Reese and Ron Swanson in <i>Annie Awesome<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></span></i></div>
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</tbody></table>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
In my fantasy, I am thirty-one years old. I am giving an interview for a documentary that has no purpose. I am asked off camera, "Tell us what having Ron Swanson as a father was like."</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
I answer, "Ron Swanson nurtured my girlhood love of all things unicorns."</div>
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<div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
There is a cut to me displaying my very proud collection of unicorns. I am in a glittery unicorn sweatshirt, all smiles as I point out some of my favorite unicorns.</div>
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<div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
I continue answering, "Every time I received a new unicorn, I would thank him. And that's when the debate about what unicorn meat would taste like would begin. Most of these debates ended with the discussion of unicorn bacon which we agreed would be the tastiest bacon of them all. Then we would just eat regular bacon and call it a night."</div>
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<br /></div>
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There would be a cut to Ron, explaining, "I have a soft spot for kids, especially my own which is why I didn't have the heart to tell her that there is no possible way that unicorn bacon would ever be the tastiest bacon. The tastiest bacon would of course come from a mythological animal called the picken - half pig, half chicken. The picken is at once a Pawnee urban legend, the Pawnee mascot from 1929-1961, and a popular racist pejorative - used mainly from 1929 to 1961."</div>
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<i>Parks and Recreation's fourth season premiere is on Thursday, September 22nd on NBC. Support this shit.</i></div>
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McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-83601682245838863312011-09-01T22:29:00.000-07:002011-09-01T22:29:01.570-07:00They Fight Crime<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Last year when Stephen J. Cannell (A*Team) died, I discovered something magical.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenspeed_and_Brown_Shoe">Tenspeed and Brownshoe</a>. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It starred Ben "Bye Bye Life" Vereen as a hustler slash detective nicknamed Tenspeed.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Got that? Pretty awesome.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It also starred Jeff Goldblum. As an accountant. Nick named Brownshoe.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All three of those things happened on CBS in 1980.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now, what could a show about a hustler slash detective with an impressive musical theater background and an accountant who would be a future Mr. Geena Davis be about? What could they possibly have in common? What could their relationship be?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Together, they fight crime.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Those four words punctuated by that comma and period encapsulate all that I find right in the world. Inspired by this, I came up with my own Stephen J. Cannell series. The brilliance of pairing up Ben Vereen and Jeff Goldblum had been used up, so what to use? What did I have laying around at work to inspire crime fighting brilliance?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNZKq91zCVsCpEWTQO09Jj5ftrMn_9lN1VoJS4gpIizYQ7f6DQvTgFQl9cliLoNBvs3J8t174a2DYZZ75xKYPZx_79Kec9c2xkxQ360GxRKP2NV8YNT4FesLYKGrpj2mTOohPtsRB5BU/s1600/theyfightcrime.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNZKq91zCVsCpEWTQO09Jj5ftrMn_9lN1VoJS4gpIizYQ7f6DQvTgFQl9cliLoNBvs3J8t174a2DYZZ75xKYPZx_79Kec9c2xkxQ360GxRKP2NV8YNT4FesLYKGrpj2mTOohPtsRB5BU/s320/theyfightcrime.jpg" width="205" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This also makes an awesome postcard.</td></tr>
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</div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-48018848855857621172011-08-09T20:56:00.000-07:002011-08-09T20:59:12.891-07:00My Outfit Today Says...Sheena<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMlvUQmPuk5L-hiWRDbib-b6YYOqkhraP0P75Uzcd3xsJ6XxQDlKBJOi18ztOYKhvenVj4duq6_JXeECjtGt8CCnwlzsrCkjOzhnHObYq3PorkrcKS6FZxUA2VEM4XL-KGHrXRrFaDV0/s1600/mots_sheena.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMlvUQmPuk5L-hiWRDbib-b6YYOqkhraP0P75Uzcd3xsJ6XxQDlKBJOi18ztOYKhvenVj4duq6_JXeECjtGt8CCnwlzsrCkjOzhnHObYq3PorkrcKS6FZxUA2VEM4XL-KGHrXRrFaDV0/s400/mots_sheena.png" width="400" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">By popular demand, it's here! <b style="color: magenta;">My Outfit Today Says!</b> Print it out as a post card and let your loved one know they are McAwesome (and so am I)!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7SjAIko4gbyEXq84CzJEX8dnBWoAmGs7Jkd0SOp0n4QM1C4AsI9rpPQz2-bt2dpkml_fgmiAtwTFNOuWqxRq13d55I4I9y3QJLjkJYUYVQApRBoGL6g5p-LDm1E2PiaQ7vykz4PIMrNM/s1600/mots_sheena+montage.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7SjAIko4gbyEXq84CzJEX8dnBWoAmGs7Jkd0SOp0n4QM1C4AsI9rpPQz2-bt2dpkml_fgmiAtwTFNOuWqxRq13d55I4I9y3QJLjkJYUYVQApRBoGL6g5p-LDm1E2PiaQ7vykz4PIMrNM/s400/mots_sheena+montage.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I gotta call my agency...no, not that agency, the modeling agency. I got to make them coins, girl.</td></tr>
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</div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-92152983401981757572011-08-08T23:29:00.000-07:002011-08-08T23:33:41.040-07:00As You Wish<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-size: large;">Interactive McAwesome Post! </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I've been a married woman for two weeks now. A lot has changed. Like realizing there's no going back - the paper work would just be too much. And that we would change nothing because our love is like one of the most McAwesome loves of all time.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1tDDf1vz83x8IdUFQ0NCO4cBfKu11rFm3vZEA0PAiVm6mpPaHQAUCvL6qM-T0BuuLJxnXdn9k8E80vcXatgTaU4Z9uTmt2kwKk-WYNvhQV_CZDkmZkix34wJcj33A0viygL2nuJ5lSM/s1600/princessbride.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1tDDf1vz83x8IdUFQ0NCO4cBfKu11rFm3vZEA0PAiVm6mpPaHQAUCvL6qM-T0BuuLJxnXdn9k8E80vcXatgTaU4Z9uTmt2kwKk-WYNvhQV_CZDkmZkix34wJcj33A0viygL2nuJ5lSM/s320/princessbride.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our love is like an AWESOME love story.</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;"> I know every newlywed couple envisions themselves to be some kind of the most amazing love stories ever told, but Mr. McAwesome and I - to harp on a point - were married by a robot. That's the kind of decision only soul mates could come to. It's the kind of love only found on an old Star Trek: The Next Generation plot. Almost like Bo and Hope's psychic connection on <a href="http://www.nbc.com/days-of-our-lives/">Days of Our Lives</a>.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqHwX75Cpka0dADSj32iOj4OkycF6vuqOTZNATt35yN98of25d9BbTxnTTZauX5TPqS4ZK782TSXMwSvLVZg-xMf3fX5vgj6ebwe4vNBmaFt_kXtJa1FroB6W7h56GEWYfwATQBRnaau0/s1600/blonde.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqHwX75Cpka0dADSj32iOj4OkycF6vuqOTZNATt35yN98of25d9BbTxnTTZauX5TPqS4ZK782TSXMwSvLVZg-xMf3fX5vgj6ebwe4vNBmaFt_kXtJa1FroB6W7h56GEWYfwATQBRnaau0/s320/blonde.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Elle Woods interviews, "Despite Bo and Hope's special connection, Bo couldn't tell that Hope was really Princess Gina and under the evil Stefano's control."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">Feh to that timeless love. Our timeless love includes a giant, a drunken Spaniard, a six fingered man and, of course, Peter Falk.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPNrsqVdIVi-3mOGC_wYu6_fj7yvVKG-uYLoWdF4wCl-YS6DhouE6dzx238xvyNGsyZUhztdEbhYmJ7pJkBIaUeY2e73Ld2mpBOkuShpwe9nOdp1Enx_4BYP79q1O2ncjnt5rNsgqKd5g/s1600/peter-falk-457712l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPNrsqVdIVi-3mOGC_wYu6_fj7yvVKG-uYLoWdF4wCl-YS6DhouE6dzx238xvyNGsyZUhztdEbhYmJ7pJkBIaUeY2e73Ld2mpBOkuShpwe9nOdp1Enx_4BYP79q1O2ncjnt5rNsgqKd5g/s320/peter-falk-457712l.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Peter Falk: The Patron Saint of McAwesome Love and Voyeurism.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You see, earlier, I commented to Mr. McAwesome while shopping for Drain-o and toliet paper about my desire to eat hot sauce. I wanted to cover the world in hot sauce. In fact, I wanted to cover him almost entirely of hot sauce and lick it off - not in desire of Mr. McAwesome but of the hot sauce.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Mr. McAwesome whisked me away to <a href="http://www.dona-rosa.com/">Dona Rosa</a>. After sitting down with my margarita, he leapt to his feet and brought me this:</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXM1HrHrEuM-TL9thXSQhGkS6re5iKlOiyIcIpvaV2luL_bxjwsEeB884WPUHOBKa9d4cJxzJ3WfoGt5qOUo6WgoeaNPlJyqf79DkR7nEq5e66WLf-rKIIQ-3aqmIMZ_LoHmI-Iq3PR88/s1600/IMG_20110808_220104.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXM1HrHrEuM-TL9thXSQhGkS6re5iKlOiyIcIpvaV2luL_bxjwsEeB884WPUHOBKa9d4cJxzJ3WfoGt5qOUo6WgoeaNPlJyqf79DkR7nEq5e66WLf-rKIIQ-3aqmIMZ_LoHmI-Iq3PR88/s320/IMG_20110808_220104.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Four kinds of salsa. AKA hot sauce.</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">Hit it, Pearl.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/_wjTOsdQzFA/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_wjTOsdQzFA&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_wjTOsdQzFA&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And then, when I indicated to which one I liked the most, he came back and presented me with more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">MORE.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And if that wasn't enough to rise to the occasion to be a love story for the ages, he introduced me to mole. An experience that created <a href="http://youtu.be/Tr6WidQqhu4">Xanadu</a> in my head.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSWbTqeowx5Ve9NMkIr1n3O1OFtj_pPmA7T8TE7L2Thf-oqjgi53Ct6QNZ2tS7x2-u6Bdkk_i6TkGDVUiyDiXqJNmBbwbuyjd0_aGbxZTxZI2lMdw8C0kbvqqenovELOTc2XYaQ7vZXqc/s1600/dancinfinalebig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSWbTqeowx5Ve9NMkIr1n3O1OFtj_pPmA7T8TE7L2Thf-oqjgi53Ct6QNZ2tS7x2-u6Bdkk_i6TkGDVUiyDiXqJNmBbwbuyjd0_aGbxZTxZI2lMdw8C0kbvqqenovELOTc2XYaQ7vZXqc/s400/dancinfinalebig.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Visual representation of mole. Also, my new desktop background.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">And that is why I shall answer any request Mr. McAwesome gives me with, <span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">"As you wish."</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnFNOszmGU84xGtG-WVsFhxta0BnoJm01s-ZH2wIk8WsAhPfpharqy6ksjCWIcL26vltCfmkkL8Zc0f74i6JgPFZ3gLf0P5pq3o4x3tZIcXASENXhyaNxFslZX0mQMMBesrgtO3qlJ03g/s1600/IMG_20110808_215126.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnFNOszmGU84xGtG-WVsFhxta0BnoJm01s-ZH2wIk8WsAhPfpharqy6ksjCWIcL26vltCfmkkL8Zc0f74i6JgPFZ3gLf0P5pq3o4x3tZIcXASENXhyaNxFslZX0mQMMBesrgtO3qlJ03g/s320/IMG_20110808_215126.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-76014514349385976342011-08-02T23:03:00.000-07:002011-08-02T23:04:42.117-07:00Klassy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QriNfVPK4Vk">Neil Jeff Gordon</a> would be proud of the apparent boozing I did at my wedding.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwiJJRvT2N-UePqJhXDvOooLErEZmWJfQEE2E9Z_0rHSmX4Y1oJ98XPNkk_DKTdt-Ued5jELKivqVVYx-5Wkxb9mAoggW6cG2Q1pBJv-UYp4PBNz8L1NgRiXYDahoIBykOIO_pmJ1CLU/s1600/drunken+bride.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwiJJRvT2N-UePqJhXDvOooLErEZmWJfQEE2E9Z_0rHSmX4Y1oJ98XPNkk_DKTdt-Ued5jELKivqVVYx-5Wkxb9mAoggW6cG2Q1pBJv-UYp4PBNz8L1NgRiXYDahoIBykOIO_pmJ1CLU/s320/drunken+bride.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me with someone who matched my beer. Mr. McAwesome was already in his robot boxer shorts inside talking to his grandmother.</td></tr>
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</div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-3707251946319325122011-08-01T12:05:00.000-07:002011-08-01T12:22:14.622-07:00CNN, YOU ARE NOT FULL OF MCAWESOME<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>UPDATE: IF THIS GETS REPOSTED ENOUGH, WE WILL RELEASE OUR EXCLUSIVE ROBOT FOOTAGE TONIGHT.</b></div><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">While still in the throes of PoHoMoHO, I woke up to find a link on my Facebook wall that says, </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">"Someone stole your idea..."</span></span><br />
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> This is very serious as I have awesome ideas. Like Mornin' Booze - a place that is both cheap, classy and convenient to drink booze in the morning.</span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/QriNfVPK4Vk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe> </h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="text-align: center;">DO NOT STEAL MY MORNIN' BOOZE!</h6>The idea in question was that of getting married by a robot. See, when the McAwesome's married, we got married by a robot. Mr. McAwesome spent three months scripting and designing a robot that I found at a thrift shop.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG6-ToiLqYF7O4mRnjOxJt6Hu9t4dvO70Vm8UsGv9e4QzEpNWk-qhcP9QnmvvPVgAbL-cXF8bXOigBMt4BWrTEK6X7j0I2dNPvnI22jsStKNh4iBBoi0yy__DA2QzsmSVsnhmlBWvlUn8/s1600/emiglio.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG6-ToiLqYF7O4mRnjOxJt6Hu9t4dvO70Vm8UsGv9e4QzEpNWk-qhcP9QnmvvPVgAbL-cXF8bXOigBMt4BWrTEK6X7j0I2dNPvnI22jsStKNh4iBBoi0yy__DA2QzsmSVsnhmlBWvlUn8/s320/emiglio.JPG" width="201" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4vgudGs5UkPCuFqW3EIllfVMawnun3_WUcC3utENoMHA2TlP6W1V5Rbi1KoLBq7Q7yUvl5zTECuh_BXW3DNpJmsLoKOcndAgxdCQI_D7Vue9YsdYbU8yGjEgV7Ld22iY9DK36WPh7V1Y/s1600/emiglio+final.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4vgudGs5UkPCuFqW3EIllfVMawnun3_WUcC3utENoMHA2TlP6W1V5Rbi1KoLBq7Q7yUvl5zTECuh_BXW3DNpJmsLoKOcndAgxdCQI_D7Vue9YsdYbU8yGjEgV7Ld22iY9DK36WPh7V1Y/s320/emiglio+final.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AFTER</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Our robot spoke, moved, interacted and - AND - played <i>The Final Countdown</i>. We recorded the voice ourselves and tweaked it. There were Easter eggs of Luke Skywalker and R2D2. In short...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhPUwcWJm-R2uhudZQhm6gJHb7pAbfcVAxvERFTMJiN2KnVAYzFnD6zPQMvr0uu5oiRlMA4J9RBpH5lYloD-E9qyZU8-bXPvxBjCjklZ1UJBQVgGPfMaRc6bBLuvt7p30yXbnpfWXqtkc/s1600/ogre.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhPUwcWJm-R2uhudZQhm6gJHb7pAbfcVAxvERFTMJiN2KnVAYzFnD6zPQMvr0uu5oiRlMA4J9RBpH5lYloD-E9qyZU8-bXPvxBjCjklZ1UJBQVgGPfMaRc6bBLuvt7p30yXbnpfWXqtkc/s320/ogre.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
So when I got the, "Somebody stole your idea", my first thought was, "Yes, they did it in Japan a year ago. It was kick ass. We were the first in America."<br />
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Then I saw the link...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/-7cZu21EWDM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">That? THAT is not married by a robot. THAT is married by a screen. With a MAC voice.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We here at Team McAwesome (as soon as Mr. McAwesome wakes up) are LIVID. LIVID!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Please spread the word that this is unacceptable. When you get married by a robot, you best be SURE that you are married by a ROBOT. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidJVReMNtz99jSf4IhbrAMD6m2LRNhG2cH6idsgu_wPv36PrAeHTqO0O4AgoAGamENXCt0U279TH8ELBk4y__h3mJbCKv1rBQuPjz67B7vMKUu4wadwq6e_yc64wjFrLKCgqhCFBo5wsE/s1600/ceremony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidJVReMNtz99jSf4IhbrAMD6m2LRNhG2cH6idsgu_wPv36PrAeHTqO0O4AgoAGamENXCt0U279TH8ELBk4y__h3mJbCKv1rBQuPjz67B7vMKUu4wadwq6e_yc64wjFrLKCgqhCFBo5wsE/s320/ceremony.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's the Married by a Robot guarantee - you will be married by a ROBOT.</td></tr>
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</div>McAwesome - A name you can trust to be married by a robot!<br />
</div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-9758612101712650052011-07-31T19:08:00.000-07:002011-07-31T19:29:32.709-07:00The McAwesome Family Crest<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Those of you of British, Scottish and Irish ancestry are probably familiar with the idea - the family motto, the disembodied boars heads, the tartan. Somehow, the McAwesome family name got passed over. Naturally, while suffering through <a href="http://itsmcawesome.blogspot.com/2011/07/pohomost.html">PoHoMoHO</a>, I did something about it.<br />
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Let me get <a href="http://www.geekingoutabout.com/2011/03/13/clarissa-please-explain-it-all-now/">Clarissa on you and explain it all</a>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDy192iJaTmUyqTaXTrP5rk1zg4xTatkHkqvhRbiR2n-Kveb3BMbX8nBmLjZjVhZCi47bKzWgsbfZWIFHooKUY5Aiu3u9yvMXsj7tzqJLI67xtmDSxVPclbc3lA8y-5THRS6guXI-lrrI/s1600/crest+explained.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDy192iJaTmUyqTaXTrP5rk1zg4xTatkHkqvhRbiR2n-Kveb3BMbX8nBmLjZjVhZCi47bKzWgsbfZWIFHooKUY5Aiu3u9yvMXsj7tzqJLI67xtmDSxVPclbc3lA8y-5THRS6guXI-lrrI/s320/crest+explained.jpg" width="312" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But where are the unicorns?</i></div></div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5400623001022259845.post-47447263443942960982011-07-31T18:58:00.000-07:002011-07-31T19:28:26.386-07:00PoHoMoHO<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66FKOyBdW-D9MB2KhtpD-EF6lyHvQEhBSNTYBrAPz4SWoSLekICYqtGhuIKINuixaffad1GfMrAlmaTlDOcZgAXiJ2hGKaGcae-wW3-DBnOL33_7WPHRE6IY26ZqiOmyOF5vQzPNMNOw/s1600/IMG_20110730_121132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>Right now, I am sitting across Mr. McAwesome who is eating the remains of the Thai food I got this morning because I was not going to cook. It's the last day of the honeymoon - the last day that anyone will actually care that recently, we combined to form The McAwesomes.<br />
<br />
Here's what I've learned about getting married -<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>You will begin to hate the wedding. </li>
<li>You will start to hallucinate that your name is "Wedding"</li>
<li>You will hate your new name</li>
<li>You will stare at the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/49LHBIVKIQXK">registry</a> and will it to buy you <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/49LHBIVKIQXK">presents </a></li>
<li>You will want to hit those precious girls you call your bridesmaids...</li>
<li>...until you remember the part about <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/49LHBIVKIQXK">presents</a></li>
<li>You will want to hit people who ask what to wear to the wedding</li>
<li>You will begin to fuck with people who ask what to wear to the wedding</li>
<li>You wish you didn't invite so many people</li>
<li>You begin to love math. People = <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/49LHBIVKIQXK">PRESENTS</a></li>
<li>You will hi5ive yourself as you have your belief confirmed that bridal magazines are stupid </li>
<li>You will cry when you get your first <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/49LHBIVKIQXK">presents</a>...</li>
<li>...five seconds later, you will refresh the browser screen to see if anyone bought anything else from the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/49LHBIVKIQXK">registry</a></li>
</ul>Now that it's all over, I'm in my kitchen. I've been here all day. It started off as a place to open up my laptop and get caught up on the internet. Then I opened up presents that were sent here while Mr. McAwesome and I were out on our honeymoon. Then I photographed those presents. I organized them. I made sweet love to them while no one was looking (and I used protection).<br />
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I have PoHoMoHO - <b>Po</b>st <b>Ho</b>ney<b>Mo</b>on <b>H</b>ang <b>O</b>ver. I am suffering from a glamorous disease. I've had a week to relax and I need more. I can't go back into general population tomorrow - I relaxed off just the wedding stress - I need to relax off all the pre-we (pre-wedding). I was almost there yesterday - look at us! LOOK AT HOW MCAWESOME MR. MCAWESOME AND I ARE:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66FKOyBdW-D9MB2KhtpD-EF6lyHvQEhBSNTYBrAPz4SWoSLekICYqtGhuIKINuixaffad1GfMrAlmaTlDOcZgAXiJ2hGKaGcae-wW3-DBnOL33_7WPHRE6IY26ZqiOmyOF5vQzPNMNOw/s1600/IMG_20110730_121132.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66FKOyBdW-D9MB2KhtpD-EF6lyHvQEhBSNTYBrAPz4SWoSLekICYqtGhuIKINuixaffad1GfMrAlmaTlDOcZgAXiJ2hGKaGcae-wW3-DBnOL33_7WPHRE6IY26ZqiOmyOF5vQzPNMNOw/s320/IMG_20110730_121132.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<i>Mr. and Mrs. McAwesome at <a href="http://www.intercontinentalmarkhopkins.com/top_of_the_mark/">The Top of the Mark</a> in San Francisco....kissin'.</i> <br />
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Today, I am wearing bunny slippers. And I have a bug bite on my head that makes me look like a Gwen Stefani wannabe from 1996. How the McAwesome have fallen.</div>McAwesomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03907565786390918896noreply@blogger.com1